Mandala Airlines

"ooh whatta feeling, when we're berak on the ceiling...ooh whatta feeling, when we're berak on the ceiling..."

yea yea yea guess what? this is our first airplane toilet review. let's see, theres a wastafel, handsoap, tissues, scary sky-noisy flush...but too bad, it doesn't have any cebok blaster at all. you'll need a huge amount of tissues and water from the wastafel to cebok your berak.

HOW TO CEBOK ON TEH PLANE:

first step: after you berak, grab some tissues, squeeze them like a ball.

second step: turn on the wastafel's water. spark a little water on those tissues.

third step: clean up your asshole with those watery ball tissues.

fourth step: throw the tissues onto the shit. grab another new tissues.

fifth step: clean up your watery asshole with those new tissues. voila! you just ceboked at the SKY! above a thousand feet!

additional information:
-concentrate! please be careful if the airplane is having turbulance. don't let it ruin your berak!
-the flush is kinda noisy and suckful. but it won't suck your ass. because you suck, more than the flush itself. *just kiddin*
-use your left hand.
-you may also use the handsoap to clean up your asshole.

the toilet was comfortable though. i brought my ipod.

Sense Of Art : 6/10
Comfort : 6/10
Accessories : 4/10

BERAKED!

Masberto, Blora

"EW", that's my first impression about this toilet. Masberto is located on the 2nd floor of Asmoro (yep, that dangdut/disco/pantura/whatever club), Central Jakarta. The place is oftenly used as a metal/hardcore/skinheads/punks/whatever gigs. So what happens if those punk, toughguy, fake mods n skins pissed and beraked on the same spot? JUST LOOK AT THE PICTURE ABOVE. FUCK! I COULDN'T BERAK THERE, the place was too smelly, and there's a couple (yes, couple) of dead cockroaches on the toilet. EW! it's not even a sitting toilet too! FUCK!

But great artistics, the place has a CBGB-kind-of-art vibe tho (my ass lol, more like BUS TERMINALS, i never been to CBGB anyway). Pylox and marker writings are everywhere lol. Oh Puh-leese, being a punk-rawk venue doesn't mean that you could disregard the toilet. It's fuckin smelly, and it has 2 cockroaches (i repeat, TWO COCKROACHES) on the toilet water. The accessories are enough tho, it has bailer and bucket (though i'm a little bit worried that the bucket just got pissed by a punk)

Sense Of Art : 5.5/10
Comfort : 2.5/10
Accessories : 4/10

BERAKED!

FFTV - Institut Kesenian Jakarta

okay this one looks pretty retarded. located in Ground Floor of FFTV-IKJ building (next to Sjuman Djaja room), the male one. It only has cebok blaster. You called this an art school, but the toilet looks like an art fool *it rhymes lol*. Yea nothing special about the artistic here.Okay okay i can tolerate artsy things. So wheres the retard part? Look at the picture above, the height of the toilet wall is around 170 centimeters (that's the average of human heights!). Which fuckin means, you could got pranked while you're doing the berak. People could get a peek at you beraking by tiptoe. Dude, that sucks. I heard my friend got guyured (*splashed) by water from the sink that close to the closet room. LOL. You'll feel like a loser, because you can't even respond them because you are BERAKING.

Sense Of Art : 4/10
Comfort : 2/10 (obviously, you'll berak under pressure because of worrying that someone will prank you off, or maybe take a peek on you)
Accessories : 5/10

BERAKED!

Amor Cafe, Kemang

it's located in 2nd floor. nothing really special here, just a cebok-blaster and a trashbin. cool glass table though. you can put your cellphone there while you're doing the cebok thingy.

Sense Of Art : 7.5/10
Comfort : 7.5/10
Accessories : 5/10

BERAKED!

The Papillon, Kemang

the papillon's famous for it's eclectical design (which remind me of the name of band "efek rumah kaca"), and also Shy Rooftop, the place where you can play your blackberry while hanging out with friends listening to horrible top 40 bands fronted by a bule. ok shut up, straight ahead to the restroom, judging from the pic you'll see that this is a stylish, yet cool toilet. yep i agreed. it has a cool flusher button up there. but does it make a good spot for berak? i don't think so. there aren't any cebok blaster right there (not even the auto one), but tissues (which is fucking sucks).

Sense Of Art : 8.5/10
Comfort : 7.5/10
Accessories : 5/10

BERAKED!

Gedung Indonesia Menggugat, Bandung

yeah finally arrived at Indonesia Menggugat Building muthafucka. Gotta berak again then. Okay i dont like the designs, the smells, but i dig the accessories. cebok blaster, waterbucket with the waterdipper and also trashbin. okay i'm safed.

Sense Of Art : 4/10
Comfort : 6/10
Accessories : 8/10

BERAKED!

XXI Cihampelas Walk, Bandung

ok, so i was at Cihampelas Rd., heading to Indonesia Menggugat Building at Perintis Kemerdekaan Rd. but then my stomach is saying "stop dude, you gotta berak. seriously." ok so i pulled off my car into Cihampelas Walk. and walk straight ahead to the XXI (after i came into the wrong toilet which is located at 2nd floor, there are many people up there dammit). so, shall we begin? ;)

this is the same closet like i used to beraked on the previous post (SCTV ones). including autocebok blaster from the behind, nice white trash bin, modern tissue stock. ok, lets move on to the rate.

Sense Of Art : 5/10
Comfort : 8/10
Accessories : 8/10

BERAKED!

Oenpao, Radio Dalam

the most trendiest and hypest cheap dimsum place nowadays. and i wanna berak in it.

tissues. check. cebok-blaster. check. faucets. check. trashbin. check. soap. NO.

Sense Of Art : 4.5/10
Comfort : 7/10
Accessories : 7/10

BERAKED!

Emporium Pluit XXI, Jakarta

it has some pretty cool accessories such as trashbin, huge wastafel (lol i dunno if its a wastafel or a huge urinal storage stuff, pardon me im a villager haha please lemme know). too bad the creator is lacking in artistic taste.


Sense Of Art : 5/10
Comfort : 8.5/10
Accessories : 8/10

BERAKED!

hotel sanyrosa, bandung

miss varziel's first post, congratulations! and happy new year too!

Sanyrosa is a 2-star hotel located on the Hegarmana/ Setiabudi intersection in Bandung (IT'S CHEAP ♥). the toilet actually cleaner than it looks on the picture.

the space is pretty tight but it's got cebok blaster, soap and tissues. not bad. visually it's so-so but it gives you a homey feel somehow.

Sense Of Art : 6/10
Comfort : 7/10
Accessories : 8/10

BERAKED!